I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Operation Purity has been aborted
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
