Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
