Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
