WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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