u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
50% drunk capacity currently
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
