I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
should my penis look like a turkey
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
