i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
