That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
