finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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