I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She needs sedatives and a leash
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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