Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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