I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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