drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
