so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
