Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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