you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
There was a lot of him and a little penis
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We are two peas in an std pod
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Pants are for mortals
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
