You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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