May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
