She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
