we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
