oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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