I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
