You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Randomize
