As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
