jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
literally had 100 drinks last night.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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