I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
