omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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