We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
