I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
