don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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