if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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