kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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