ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
