Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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