Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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