come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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