You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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