Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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