I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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