dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
