Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
And then he peed in my hair
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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