thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Randomize
