i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
