The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
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