just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
