We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
