this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
