We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
