I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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