nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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