dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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