I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
