i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
